The Latest

Oct 22, 2014 / 66,753 notes
Oct 22, 2014 / 483,674 notes

do-not-feed-the-animal:

fun fact, the last one is no accident, it’s in milwaukee, and they do it every year around the holidays!!!!!

(via cinderelvis)

mentalalchemy:

suixune:

sereneextremist:

A baby LED costume

SEIZE THE PREY AND CONSUME

terrifying
Oct 22, 2014 / 246,986 notes

mentalalchemy:

suixune:

sereneextremist:

A baby LED costume

SEIZE THE PREY AND CONSUME

terrifying

(via thefuuuucomics)

Oct 22, 2014 / 141,152 notes
hermionemollycharliepond:

just-raowolf:

edenwolfie:

my year 8 students had to do a budgeting activity pretending they were living out of home on $2000 a month and I find this written on there help I can’t fucking breathe

We had to do this and I was partnered with a boy whose parents are a scientist and a doctor. My family spawned the book: Top Drawer Villain - autobiography of a London criminal.
First of all, we had to choose where we would shop. He wanted to buy from Booths. “We are not buying from Booths," I snapped. "Get on Asda’s website right now." His face froze.
“A-Asda?" he whispered. "But that’s where… The Lower Classes shop.”
This was a good start.
We then had to decide on a menu. We started on breakfast. “Toast," he said.
“Toast," I said. "Great. Look, Asda has its own wholemeal—”
“Warburton’s thick-slice white bread. Nothing else. With olive oil.”
“You WHAT?" I choked. "You have olive oil, on your toast, in the morning?”
He frowned. “Who doesn’t?”
“Okay," I said, "but what will the children eat?”
He gaped at me. “The children? We have children?”
We continued. All was well until it came to what we would have on our sandwiches. We even sorted out the children’s lunch - they, of course, would get free school meals. “Yes," he agreed; "if we can’t even afford Bertolli then they can get school meals on the government.”
He asked what dressing we should have on our ham. “Nuh-uh," I said. "Can’t have ham. I’m vegetarian.”
“But I’m not.”
“Yes, but we’re married and we can only afford one sandwich filler so it has to be vege—”
“We’re married!?”
“Of course we’re married! You’re devout Christian - how do you think I convinced you to have children?”
He shook his head, frowning. “Well I want ham. You’ll have to put back the washing powder - I need ham on my sandwiches.”
We continued. Finally, it was dinner. “Okay," he said, clearly thinking hard; "for dinner, we can have… Chicken nuggets and… Beans?”
“Vegetarian.”
“Vegetarian nuggets then. And beans.”
“We need vegetables. The children have to have a balanced diet.”
“You and your children!" he yelled, and the whole class looked around.
“They’re your children too!" I screamed back.
He leapt to his feet, shaking his head and looking distraught. “I don’t believe it - I don’t believe you! I wouldn’t have your children!”
“Please," I cried, standing up also. "Don’t—”
“I want a divorce!”
And he walked out of the classroom.
The teacher stood up and stared between me and the door through which he had vanished. “I’m sorry," I whispered, "but we couldn’t do it any more. There were just too many differences - I can’t live with someone who thinks champagne is a budget.”
I can’t wait to see this guy when he gets to university.

READ THE WHOLE THING
Oct 21, 2014 / 351,266 notes

hermionemollycharliepond:

just-raowolf:

edenwolfie:

my year 8 students had to do a budgeting activity pretending they were living out of home on $2000 a month and I find this written on there help I can’t fucking breathe

We had to do this and I was partnered with a boy whose parents are a scientist and a doctor. My family spawned the book: Top Drawer Villain - autobiography of a London criminal.

First of all, we had to choose where we would shop. He wanted to buy from Booths. “We are not buying from Booths," I snapped. "Get on Asda’s website right now." His face froze.

A-Asda?" he whispered. "But that’s where… The Lower Classes shop.

This was a good start.

We then had to decide on a menu. We started on breakfast. “Toast," he said.

Toast," I said. "Great. Look, Asda has its own wholemeal—

Warburton’s thick-slice white bread. Nothing else. With olive oil.

You WHAT?" I choked. "You have olive oil, on your toast, in the morning?

He frowned. “Who doesn’t?

Okay," I said, "but what will the children eat?

He gaped at me. “The children? We have children?

We continued. All was well until it came to what we would have on our sandwiches. We even sorted out the children’s lunch - they, of course, would get free school meals. “Yes," he agreed; "if we can’t even afford Bertolli then they can get school meals on the government.

He asked what dressing we should have on our ham. “Nuh-uh," I said. "Can’t have ham. I’m vegetarian.

But I’m not.

Yes, but we’re married and we can only afford one sandwich filler so it has to be vege—

We’re married!?

Of course we’re married! You’re devout Christian - how do you think I convinced you to have children?

He shook his head, frowning. “Well I want ham. You’ll have to put back the washing powder - I need ham on my sandwiches.

We continued. Finally, it was dinner. “Okay," he said, clearly thinking hard; "for dinner, we can have… Chicken nuggets and… Beans?

Vegetarian.

Vegetarian nuggets then. And beans.

We need vegetables. The children have to have a balanced diet.

You and your children!" he yelled, and the whole class looked around.

They’re your children too!" I screamed back.

He leapt to his feet, shaking his head and looking distraught. “I don’t believe it - I don’t believe you! I wouldn’t have your children!

Please," I cried, standing up also. "Don’t—

I want a divorce!

And he walked out of the classroom.

The teacher stood up and stared between me and the door through which he had vanished. “I’m sorry," I whispered, "but we couldn’t do it any more. There were just too many differences - I can’t live with someone who thinks champagne is a budget.

I can’t wait to see this guy when he gets to university.

READ THE WHOLE THING

(via cinderelvis)

Oct 21, 2014 / 58 notes

talknerdytorne:

I have a lot of unemployment jokes but none of them work.

(via cinderelvis)

Oct 21, 2014 / 1,311 notes
Oct 21, 2014 / 47 notes

aro-shezza:

today in class my friend spilled her chai tea latte and immediately i go “I tea that you have spilled a latte your drink. you should probably chai to clean that up” aND THE TEACHER GAVE ME CANDY

(via cinderelvis)

Oct 21, 2014 / 376,649 notes

folieafuck:

jehovahs:

we can all agree that autumn is a nicer word than fall

Autumn Out Boy

(via thefuuuucomics)

urtube:

My first post on Facebook, why didn’t my parents stop me
Oct 21, 2014 / 19,144 notes

urtube:

My first post on Facebook, why didn’t my parents stop me

(via thefuuuucomics)

Oct 21, 2014 / 818,133 notes

ravenclawssaywhat:

this-is-horrorwood:

hey-how-ya-doing:

oomshi:

do i have a crush on you or am i just lonely

do i like you or do i like that you like me

do I like you or do I like the idea of you

do i want to be in a relationship or do i just want to prove that i’m worthy of one

(via thegatsbyparty)

Oct 21, 2014 / 291,607 notes
Oct 21, 2014 / 112,733 notes

emojustinyoung:

"you wear that a lot" yes that is because i, a proud owner of a washing machine,

(via ifoundthisandthoughtitwasfunny)

Oct 21, 2014 / 371,141 notes

meidosuji:

meidosuji:

There’s this asshole who every time he sees me with my ukulele he thinks he’s funny and asks “Can you play any Metallica?” but the joke is now on him because I just learned how to play the intro riff to Master of Puppets.

I did it. I fucking did it. He asked me again just like I knew he would and I stared him straight in the eyes without blinking and just fucking shredded on my ukulele

(via ifoundthisandthoughtitwasfunny)

actress4evr:

overlord-kyogre:

minatheangel:

humanitysinsanity:

mariexvx:

masou-shoujo:

HAHAAHAAHAHAAA

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAH

HAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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Breaking News: Everyone is rich and all orphans have been adopted.
Oct 21, 2014 / 720,262 notes

actress4evr:

overlord-kyogre:

minatheangel:

humanitysinsanity:

mariexvx:

masou-shoujo:

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Breaking News: Everyone is rich and all orphans have been adopted.

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